Here goes nothing…Putting thoughts to paper is never easy. Putting thoughts to paper for all the world to see? Well, that’s a whole different level.
For the past few months, I have felt the pull to start this blog. The idea of putting my thoughts, emotions, trials in the open scared me to death. What will people say? What will people think? Who will actually care enough to read this blog? But, then in my prayer time the Lord made it very clear to me that all of those things didn’t really matter and He will take care of it. So, here I am. Little ol’ me. Doing something I thought I would never do…putting my thoughts and life in a blog.
For the past 3 years and 7 months (not that I am counting) my husband, Brett, and I have been on a journey that has been trying on us both as a couple and individually. That journey is one to become parents. When we started this process, there was no way we would have ever thought we would be at this place we are now. Never would we have dreamed this would be our life. What has our journey been like, you may ask?
Well, let’s start from the very beginning…..
My husband and I had been married for about 8 months when we decided to grow our family. We both have always loved kids and had a strong desire to be parents. After about 6 months into the process, with no success, I felt that something wasn’t right. However, everyone was saying to give it more time and doctors were not too concerned with anything either. With all of that, I tried to put my worries behind me and keep planning toward the future. Little did I know the future I was planning for, hoping for, dreaming for, would still not be here.
To summarize most of what we have been through in this almost 4 year process; 2 laparoscopic surgeries, diagnosed with endometriosis, a septum removal from my uterus, 4 unsuccessful treatment cycles with my OB, being referred to a fertility specialist, 3 injection cycles with him, along with one cycle of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination: I will go into more details of this procedure in a later post.). Along the way, we have also had 2 miscarriages that both occurred at about 6 weeks. Phew! Quite the rollercoaster ride.
This leads me to our most recent appointment with the specialist…
At our last appointment, our fertility doctor was at a loss as to why we haven’t been successful yet. With all the tests and treatments we have had done, he said there was no obvious reason for the lack of conceiving. His only “diagnosis” he give us was “unexplained infertility.” That felt like a punch in the gut and a stab in the heart all at once. If the specialist couldn’t give us answers, then what hope did we have of being able to have our own children? We left there feeling defeated. But we know that God always has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So that’s what we are doing, putting our hope and trust in God. He wouldn’t have placed this dream in hearts so strongly for no reason.
With our transition out of the Army, we decided it would be best to put treatments on hold until the stress of the move and new jobs where’s down. As of this moment, we are in a season of waiting when it comes to our fertility journey. Always praying though. God has a plan and a reason for all of this and I have grown and learned a lot about myself in this process as well. It is never easy, but God has never left my side.
For anyone who may be reading this and going through similar circumstances, know that I am always praying for you. I want to be here to encourage you and support you in the process!