The Month of June

Tomorrow, we enter into a new month. Official start of summer! So many fun exciting things about this month for me. For example, it’s my birthday month (28 here we come!), our wedding ceremony anniversary (wow 4 years already. Time flies!), Father’s Day (this has always been special to me because it’s so close to my birthday that my dad and I would always do things just the two of us to celebrate.), high school graduation (Marks 10 years this year since I graduated. Yikes! I’m old!), the official start of summer, and few other life events that really just make this month a great one. 

However, the month of June also bring into play some memories that I wish I could forget. Memories of events that I wish I had never had to go through and wouldn’t wish on anyone else. For starters it is the month that we found out we were pregnant with our first baby and subsequently miscarried 5 days after finding out. We named him, Jonathan. (If you would like to read more about that story click Here.) This month was also the month that my husband, Brett, left for a 5 month deployment to Afghanistan, 2 weeks after I had surgery and was still recovering. These are just 2 events of a many others that really puts a damper on this of so exciting month of celebration and amazing life events. 

But you know what? 

As much as I can let the memories of the tragic events consume me and depress me this month. And people would probably not blame me for it. But I won’t. I could wallow in self pity and cry myself to sleep every night. And people would probably be understanding. But I won’t.

You know why?

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 states, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,…”

Shortly after the events of the miscarriage and the deployment, I had my time of weeping, of mourning. And that is ok. It is actually healthy to let yourself cry. But, one thing I have learned through the tough times, you should never let those times outweigh the good times.  Don’t let yourself sit in that thought/memory that you are no longer able to see the joy around you. The devil will do anything to steal your joy away. Don’t let him! 

Those memories will never leave me. And as much as it would be nice to always have memories of the happy and good times, those events helped shape me more into the person I am today. As hard as they were to go through, I am thankful I am, with God’s help, stronger because of them. 

“There is a time for everything,…” 

Allow yourself the time to process, grieve, and understand the hard times. Just don’t let it steal your joy! 

I pledge that the month of June is one to remember the hard times, while finding joy in the good times! 

Remember, I am always here for you! Feel free to contact me through email (fertileatheart@gmail.com), Facebook (Fertile at Heart) or leave a comment below if you have anything prayer requests or just need a listening ear! 

Advertisements

I’m What?!?! 


There it was. Plain as black and white. Written out with no denying it…

Pregnant!

To say I was shocked is an understatement. It was the last thing on my mind to see. After almost 4 years of “Not Pregnant” or just one pink line, I didn’t believe it. I had to take another test the next day to believe it. 

To back up a little bit. After about 3.5 years of trying on our own and with treatments (Read more about our infertility journey here)  we had decided in this transition period of getting out of the military and transitioning to another state, we were going to wait to try again until we got settled into our jobs and our new house was built and we were moved in and settled. But, God had other plans for us. And I am ok with that! 

But can I be real with you for a minute? 

My very first reaction when it all settled in wasn’t excitement, joy, or anything like that. My first thought that came to my head was, believe it or not, “here we go again.” And “let’s see how long this one lasts.”  Not really the reaction I wanted to have go through my mind. And I’m sure not what you would have expected from me either. 

Both of my other pregnancies ended exactly 5 days after finding out I was pregnant. So the first 5 days of this pregnancy was pretty nerve wracking to say the least. Pretty much pacing the floor. Praying to get through the day with no “scares.” After day 5 was over, that is when I started feeling the relief and excitement! As I am writing this I am only a few days away from 12 weeks! And everyday that we get closer to meeting this little one I count as a gift. Another day closer means it is another day closer to finally here a little voice call me “mommy.” And that will be music to my ears. 

God has a plan for my life that I didn’t expect. The timing of all of this is not anywhere near what my so-called “plans” we’re for our family. But I know that it is just perfect. No matter what you are waiting on, whether you suffer from infertility or waiting to hear back from a job interview, know that God is always in your corner. He is there, ready to hold you up and carry you through this time of waiting. So don’t give up hope! Don’t give into the lies that He doesn’t care. He does! 

And know that I am here for each of you too! Feel free to contact me with any prayer requests and I would love to pray along with you. Email me at fertileatheart@gmail.com or contact me through my Facebook page.