I’m What?!?! 

There it was. Plain as black and white. Written out with no denying it…


To say I was shocked is an understatement. It was the last thing on my mind to see. After almost 4 years of “Not Pregnant” or just one pink line, I didn’t believe it. I had to take another test the next day to believe it. 

To back up a little bit. After about 3.5 years of trying on our own and with treatments (Read more about our infertility journey here)  we had decided in this transition period of getting out of the military and transitioning to another state, we were going to wait to try again until we got settled into our jobs and our new house was built and we were moved in and settled. But, God had other plans for us. And I am ok with that! 

But can I be real with you for a minute? 

My very first reaction when it all settled in wasn’t excitement, joy, or anything like that. My first thought that came to my head was, believe it or not, “here we go again.” And “let’s see how long this one lasts.”  Not really the reaction I wanted to have go through my mind. And I’m sure not what you would have expected from me either. 

Both of my other pregnancies ended exactly 5 days after finding out I was pregnant. So the first 5 days of this pregnancy was pretty nerve wracking to say the least. Pretty much pacing the floor. Praying to get through the day with no “scares.” After day 5 was over, that is when I started feeling the relief and excitement! As I am writing this I am only a few days away from 12 weeks! And everyday that we get closer to meeting this little one I count as a gift. Another day closer means it is another day closer to finally here a little voice call me “mommy.” And that will be music to my ears. 

God has a plan for my life that I didn’t expect. The timing of all of this is not anywhere near what my so-called “plans” we’re for our family. But I know that it is just perfect. No matter what you are waiting on, whether you suffer from infertility or waiting to hear back from a job interview, know that God is always in your corner. He is there, ready to hold you up and carry you through this time of waiting. So don’t give up hope! Don’t give into the lies that He doesn’t care. He does! 

And know that I am here for each of you too! Feel free to contact me with any prayer requests and I would love to pray along with you. Email me at fertileatheart@gmail.com or contact me through my Facebook page. 

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