Pam is a family friend that has been friend’s with my mom’s parents since my mom was a little girl. Needless to say, I have known her and her husband Jerry my whole life. They are like a second family to me. Recently, Pam had read my blog post, “What’s in a name?.” This blog was the story about my husband and I’s first miscarriage and how we named that baby. After reading it, I received an email of her sharing her story about a miscarriage her and her husband went through and asked if I could share with all of you. I am just going to copy and paste the whole letter here. There is no other words I could say to better explain and show her heart. Be encouraged by her story…
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I didn’t see your message until today and decided to write this as an attachment because of the length. I loved your blog about naming Jonathan. Your messages are about hope to the many women whose hearts are breaking because of infertility. You also express yourself beautifully and from the heart. The Lord is using you more than you know.
Several years after having our second son, Scott (goes by Spencer now), I found myself pregnant. We had used birth control, so this was quite a surprise. We were excited and I had never had any problems with pregnancy – other than the daily morning sickness. I was 3-4 months along when I started to spot. When I went to the doctor, he told me that they could no longer hear a heartbeat. They also wanted me to abort the pregnancy naturally, so I went home expecting this to happen soon.
After a month, and no miscarriage, I went back to the doctor and pleaded with him to end the pregnancy. It was so devastating to carry this baby that no longer had life in his being. It took quite an emotional toll on both Jerry and me. I also felt that this was the little girl that would complete our family.
A number of years later, I was thinking about the baby and decided to name her. I have always loved the name Rachel (innocent as a lamb), and so Rachel she became. When Jeff and Jannah were pregnant with their first child, they asked us to help pick out names. Jeff asked me what my favorite girls name was and I said “Rachel.” They discussed quite a few options and let us know their decision. Thus, our oldest granddaughter is named Raechel.
Not only do we have our Rachel in heaven, but our Raechel here on earth. She is a wonderful, young woman, with an innocence that is uncommon today. She just turned 21 and loves the Lord with her whole heart. We are so proud of her and couldn’t love her more!
Many years ago, the Lord revealed a very special thing about our Rachel. He showed me that these babies who are miscarried will be waiting in heaven for their parents. We will spend eternity with these precious ones. They have souls, so I believe they will also have bodies. We will be able to o embrace them for the first and never-ending time.
Sweet Vanessa, you and Brett have had quite a journey. Out of trial comes transformation. Your precious little Jonathan will be waiting for you with arms open wide. Your heartache will be exchanged for unimaginable joy and your tears for love and laughter.
You and Brett are precious to the Lord, and he knows your pain…He has also lost a Son!!! I’m praying that the Lord will perfectly knit together your cherished child. As it says in Psalms 139:13-16:
Psalm 139:13 It was you who formed my internal organs, fashioning me within my mother’s
Psa 139:15 My frame was not hidden from you while I was being crafted in a hidden place, knit
together in the depths of the earth.
Psa 139:16 Your eyes looked upon my embryo, and everything was recorded in your book. The
days scheduled for my formation were inscribed, even though not one of them had come yet.
I will close with the fact that the Lord is carrying you during this time. The Footprints poem is so perfect. Hang in there, Honey. You have many people praying for all of you.
Love n’ hugs, Pam
Footprints in the Sand Poem
By Mary Stevenson
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”