For Every Woman


I reached out to a sweet friend from college, Mindy, and asked her to guest post on my blog. What I got back was something written so beautifully that it really doesn’t need much introduction except that I believe that every woman out there, whether or not you struggle with infertility or not, should read it. Be encouraged. So, without further ado…

In Mindy’s words…

They say 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That’s 2 in 10 women. 

Friends, that’s a lot. 

As a little girl I dreamed of one day being 3 things. A Jesus follower, a wife and a mother.

I’ve served Jesus since I was 5. I was married at 20. My first baby came when I was 24. My second baby came when I was 27. I’m currently carrying my third due in 4.5 months…I’ll be 29. 

Jesus. A husband and 3 babies. 

Although challenging days come, I can’t express how thankful I am. In fact, “thankfulness” is the theme of this pregnancy.

Because, I’ve had friends whose stories have been unlike mine. The dreams they carried didn’t come to fulfillment as they envisioned. 

First trimester losses…

Second trimester losses…

Many haven’t been able to conceive at all. A lot of mommies haven’t held their baby yet.

So now that I’m in “mommy land” and have heard the stories…and walked with some friends through some real pain…I’m aware. I’m aware that not all wishes are granted. Sometimes hope isn’t so present. Sometimes fear and sorrow are a close companion.

So, I will never take a pregnancy for granted. 

And my thoughts are cluttered yet real…here they are…

I don’t know why I’ve been so “lucky”…”blessed”…”fortunate”…(I honestly don’t know what word to use sometimes)…

Why her? Why not me? She would be a wonderful mother. She’s a natural. Look at that longing in her heart. Jesus, you see it, don’t you? Your sweet daughter…her grief…you bore it on the cross…I know you did. So why? 

How do I serve her? Do I bring a meal? Do I write a note? Do I try to come up with something to say? Say nothing at all? Listen? Pray? Talk about the baby? Lots of questions. How do I be the friend she needs?

Friend, if you have been through deep grief, loss, fear, pain and you spend much time questioning…please know that I don’t really know what to say. 

Just this…

Beautiful girl,

You are seen. Your cries are being heard. You are not alone. Your Heavenly Father, He’s so good. Very, very good. He cares. He has a plan in the storms. I want you to know that as scary as the storm is…you are never ever ever alone. Keep hoping. Keep praying. Joy is coming. New days are dawning. You have not been forgotten. Jesus, well He thinks you are lovely, and worthy…and knows that “momma desire” deep in your heart. He put it there. He has a plan. Trust Him.

They say that struggle can make us stronger. I see that strength in you. It inspires me. Keep going.

And to the one who like myself hasn’t walked in those shoes:

Sweet girl, 

What you have…some would nearly die to have. Be so grateful. Your role matters, as her friend. Be there. Pray so so so diligently on her behalf. Believe when she doesn’t. Speak the promises of God over her. Let her be herself. Serve herbut mostly, just keep loving her.

Hope has a way of amazing us. Your Heavenly Father is hers also. We all fight a different battle…but with Him by our side it won’t overtake us. You are strong…so is she. You are even stronger together. 💚

With love,

Mindy

Advertisements

Joy Comes With The Mourning


Let me preface this post by saying, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to share this with anyone. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it let alone opening up to anyone else about it, but I really felt the leading to share. So, here I am sharing a moment in time that I felt a little overwhelmed and had very conflicting emotions about…

—————————–

As I have stated in a past post called The Hope Chest I have been acquiring baby things here and there for the past few years. Diapers, bottles, onsies, wipes, etc. Just whatever stood out to me at the time I was at the store. Having just recently moved into a new house within the past few weeks, I was finally got the privilege to unpack that box of baby things in an actual nursery for my little baby that will be coming this December! It was so exciting, after almost 4 years of collecting these items, I finally had a reason to unpack them and put it all in a neatly organized closet for use in the very near future. Then, a very overwhelming moment came over me when I came across these items pictured above…

You see, these were the little onsies we used to announce to our family that we were pregnant the last 2 pregnancies. 

My heart stopped. My eyes filled with tears at the thought of what these tiny little baby clothes represented. I thought to myself, I would give anything to have those two precious babies back and meet them and hold them in my arms. But I knew that wouldn’t happen. 

I sat in the nursery for a few moments just thinking about who those two babies might have been. What they might have looked like, talked like, laughed like. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But then the words to a worship song that we would sing in church a lot came to my head and made me realize that even though there were times of sorrow and pain, the Lord brings joy through those circumstances. The song, you may ask? 

Trading My Sorrows.

Some of the words that stuck out to me in this song go like this..

“I’m trading my sorrows

I’m trading my shame

I’m laying them down for the joy

of the Lord

I’m trading my sickness

I’m trading my pain

I’m laying them down for the joy the Lord”

*Then it goes on to say… 

“I am pressed but not crushed

persecuted not abandoned

Struck down but not destroyed

I am blessed beyond the curse for

his promise will endure

And his joy’s gonna be my

strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night

His joy comes with the morning.”

For some reason, when I thought of these words it calmed me. Even through mourning the loss of these precious babies, I could joy in the fact that God has it all under control. That His timing is perfect. That I have a perfectly healthy baby growing inside of me with an almost flawless pregnancy to go with it. And, that those little baby clothes, will no longer have to hide in a box. They will be used by this precious little rainbow baby. And that brings me more joy than any time of mourning can take from me.

Huh? What is a rainbow baby? (Is probably what some of you are thinking right now.) 

Well, I am glad you asked! 🙂 

A rainbow baby is a baby that was conceived and given birth to after a miscarriage or infant loss. The rainbow in the Bible was shown to Noah as a sign and promise that his family is blessed and that God would no longer bring such destruction on the world. So, a baby born after a storm of miscarriage or infant loss, is a blessing from God. A way that He shows He will always come through on His promises. It just may not be in a way that we thought it would. 

So, in everything you do, even during the hard times, always look for the joy that comes with the mourning. Always know that God has and will never turn His back on you. He loves you! You are always in my thoughts and prayers! 

Announcing…!!!


We have known for a while now, but I thought I would write a post announcing to all of you out there that follow my blog.

We are having a girl! 

To say we are excited would be an understatement. Children are such a blessing either way, but I am excited to bring on the pink and frills. My husband has not taken that bracelet off since. He is just a tad excited too. 😉

When we first walked into the ultrasound room that day, I felt so overwhelmed with emotion. Knowing we were going to be finding out the gender was exciting. Yet for some reason it was hard to believe that we had reached this far in the pregnancy to know what the gender was. My heart raced as I got up on the table with the anticipation of what was to come. I was so thankful that not only did my husband get to be there but so did my parents to join in the experience. 

The ultrasound tech put the wand on my belly, and there it was, plain as day. A baby girl! I wanted to cry. God is so good. 

We waited a few days to officially announce the news to our family and friends just to enjoy the little secret ourselves. And about a week later we announced the name…

Millie Anne 


Millie meaning Strength 

Anne meaning Merciful/Graceful

Our little one has already shown so much strength getting this far and through God’s ever present grace He has blessed us with this little one. 

Just hold on to your dreams. God is there. He is listening. His timing is perfect.