I reached out to a sweet friend from college, Mindy, and asked her to guest post on my blog. What I got back was something written so beautifully that it really doesn’t need much introduction except that I believe that every woman out there, whether or not you struggle with infertility or not, should read it. Be encouraged. So, without further ado…
In Mindy’s words…
They say 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That’s 2 in 10 women.
Friends, that’s a lot.
As a little girl I dreamed of one day being 3 things. A Jesus follower, a wife and a mother.
I’ve served Jesus since I was 5. I was married at 20. My first baby came when I was 24. My second baby came when I was 27. I’m currently carrying my third due in 4.5 months…I’ll be 29.
Jesus. A husband and 3 babies.
Although challenging days come, I can’t express how thankful I am. In fact, “thankfulness” is the theme of this pregnancy.
Because, I’ve had friends whose stories have been unlike mine. The dreams they carried didn’t come to fulfillment as they envisioned.
First trimester losses…
Second trimester losses…
Many haven’t been able to conceive at all. A lot of mommies haven’t held their baby yet.
So now that I’m in “mommy land” and have heard the stories…and walked with some friends through some real pain…I’m aware. I’m aware that not all wishes are granted. Sometimes hope isn’t so present. Sometimes fear and sorrow are a close companion.
So, I will never take a pregnancy for granted.
And my thoughts are cluttered yet real…here they are…
I don’t know why I’ve been so “lucky”…”blessed”…”fortunate”…(I honestly don’t know what word to use sometimes)…
Why her? Why not me? She would be a wonderful mother. She’s a natural. Look at that longing in her heart. Jesus, you see it, don’t you? Your sweet daughter…her grief…you bore it on the cross…I know you did. So why?
How do I serve her? Do I bring a meal? Do I write a note? Do I try to come up with something to say? Say nothing at all? Listen? Pray? Talk about the baby? Lots of questions. How do I be the friend she needs?
Friend, if you have been through deep grief, loss, fear, pain and you spend much time questioning…please know that I don’t really know what to say.
You are seen. Your cries are being heard. You are not alone. Your Heavenly Father, He’s so good. Very, very good. He cares. He has a plan in the storms. I want you to know that as scary as the storm is…you are never ever ever alone. Keep hoping. Keep praying. Joy is coming. New days are dawning. You have not been forgotten. Jesus, well He thinks you are lovely, and worthy…and knows that “momma desire” deep in your heart. He put it there. He has a plan. Trust Him.
They say that struggle can make us stronger. I see that strength in you. It inspires me. Keep going.
And to the one who like myself hasn’t walked in those shoes:
What you have…some would nearly die to have. Be so grateful. Your role matters, as her friend. Be there. Pray so so so diligently on her behalf. Believe when she doesn’t. Speak the promises of God over her. Let her be herself. Serve her…but mostly, just keep loving her.
Hope has a way of amazing us. Your Heavenly Father is hers also. We all fight a different battle…but with Him by our side it won’t overtake us. You are strong…so is she. You are even stronger together. 💚